As the holidays, AHEM, Christmas nears there have been several people who mention that it’s our first. The big one – Scott and Sam’s FIRST Christmas. Maybe everyone’s seen too many movies or just think back on their first Christmas as super special, but I have to say, it’s going to be a bit anti-climactic. I mean, we got married a few months ago. Never in my life will I receive so many presents (and if you haven’t received a thank you card yet…uhh, maybe after the new year?).

People are always asking about which “in-laws” we’ll choose to spend the big day with. The answer – none. Here’s the thing everyone seems to forget, when you’re still young in your careers you have very little PTO. Practically my whole year’s worth was spent on our honeymoon. So, I have Christmas Eve off…which is conveniently the day the majority of America pokes their head in for church, a place Scott just so happens to work. I also have New Years Eve off, but we are in a wedding, so that weekend’s spoken for.

But, for all of you wishing us a blessed first Christmas, I promise to cherish every moment. Really. I may not have presents for anyone… or at least not until a Target/Costco run later on this week, but somehow that will come together. We will hold dearly the memory of Christmas morning when we jump out of bed to see what’s under the tree. Scott and I have agreed to just exchange stockings in case the big man in red can’t find our non-existent fireplace. I haven’t exactly figured out what to stuff in that stocking yet, but it will be good. We will keep warm with our new socks and Scott’s magic microwave egg nog recipe. We will enjoy the constant string of Christmas cards and all around holiday cheer easily found at a shopping center near you. And we will always remember this Christmas as the one we lost our friendly neighborhood competition for best yard decor.

Two Strands of Lights for Team Gratton

Team "Neighbor" wins this year

Despite losing their biggest inflatable to last week’s “blizzard” our two strands of LED just isn’t up to par.

Like most married couples, we have a bed. If you ever start talking about buying a mattress, we’ll go on and on about how great ours is.  Before getting married we had beds, but it wasn’t quite like this one.

Scott’s bed or rather, mattress, (this makes me cringe whenever I think about it) was taken right out of the dump. At a more desperate time in his life, he worked at a coffee shop conveniently located next to a mattress store.  In the back of this mattress store was a pile of the used beds people got rid of after buying a new bed. One night Scott loaded up a used and orange-colored twin mattress into the backseat of his Malibu and called it a good deal. Yuck.

He used that and only that on the floor for over a year before acquiring a purple polka dot painted loft from one of my roommates in college. She didn’t use the loft anymore because we lived in an apartment and had left the loft days behind us. He gladly accepted this homemade wooden frame in order to fit even more musical equipment into his tiny room. The orange mattress was then placed on top of the loft, leaving only a few feet between it and the ceiling fan.

All the while, I was sleeping on this odd couch thing that could be considered a futon-wannabe. When I purchased the beige beast, it seemed like a brilliant idea. It could be folded into a couch for sitting or unleashed to become a full-size, low to the ground, and uncomfortable “bed” at night. It didn’t seem so bad in the store, but after a few weeks I could feel the bars holding it together under my spine. I tried to sleep in all sorts of angles to make it better, even laid down extra pillows and comforters to mask the discomfort. It never really got better, but I stubbornly insisted I was fine.

So you can imagine how thrilled we were to go mattress shopping about a month before our wedding. We went to several different stores and awkwardly lied down to test them out while the sales people kept talking. We ended up purchasing a queen size pillow-top mattress that feels more like a comfy plush mattress. It has 700 and some coils, a bamboo cover, some sort of memory foam and all sorts of bells and whistles. Did I mention I have to practically jump to get into bed every night? We invested, but it was so worth it. Now when people ask us wedding advice we say, “Buy a good bed.”

We are now that couple who banters about where the holiday decorations go. Yes, we’re officially married.

I thought that after the wedding I’d be so caught up in what we’d spent months planning that there would still be plenty to say about it. Not entirely true. Right now, let’s talk about things other than the wedding. While we still have thank you cards looming over our heads and wedding photos to choose, the last thing either of us feel like doing right now are wedding related tasks.

So, what did we do last night in our attempt to avoid them? Got our first tree! I came home from work determined to bring a little extra décor into our tiny home. Plans started forming – Costco then Target! No, Target then Costco! I started looking online for an artificial tree. The plans quickly changed.

Craigslist is where we found our 6-foot pre-lit wonder. Stick it in the corner, plug it in and there you have it – our first tree.  I wasn’t exactly wanting the multi-colored lights, but you can’t beat a $35 deal in the back of a Hy-Vee parking lot. We could only go up from there and headed straight to the Dollar Tree. (Are you catching on to the fact that we’re young and cheap?)

Only at the Dollar Tree can you grab everything you could possibly think to put on a tree and still manage to be under $20. Scott gave me one ground rule: NO glitter.  You’d be surprised how many things this eliminates. We still somehow managed to find more than enough tacky items for our tree. By the time we got home, I had almost come to terms with how chintzy this thing would be. Without warning, Scott started pouring on the tinsel. NOOO!!! Only time will tell just how this tree will look by Christmas time.

Bet you thought this wedding blog was over now that we’re married… well think again! It’ll take months of blogs just to reflect on that day, not to mention, years of blogs about married life. We are now officially married, back from our honeymoon and no longer obsessed with all things wedding. My last post was a little stressed, but I can assure you that we are no longer living on to-do lists.

We may be wedding failures, but now we hardly care. Our programs were dropped off at Kinko’s less than 24 hours before they were handed out. The wedding coordinator’s “apprentice” ironed all the guys’ shirts an hour before photos. Other than the receiving line, we hardly felt like we saw anyone to thank or just to chat. The week of the wedding we realized a few invites that should have been made and got a few returned in the mail. We never found  the time to write personalized notes to the people in the wedding party or our parents. And of course, we didn’t pack for our honeymoon until the day after our wedding.

But here I sit, almost a month later typing a blog while my husband sleeps next to me. I loved our wedding day. I don’t care about those things anymore. From the rehearsal dinner on until getting on that plane to Mexico, it was perfect (don’t worry, there were no problems in Mexico either).

Here are a few of the highlights:

• Rehearsal dinner with the wedding party at Mimi’s Cafe with my father-in-law’s homemade wine (delicious)
• Spending the last two days of being single with Paige, my friend from my traveling days who otherwise lives on the West Coast
• Waking up ready to get married and being calmer than I imagined the entire day
• Getting ready with close friends who were great at hair and makeup
• Waiting until walking down that aisle to see Scott – it was totally worth it
• A surprise classic red car to whisk us away to take photos with (more to come on the photos later)
• The best reception set-up I could have imagined thanks to some helpful volunteers while we took photos
• Fish in little glass jars on the head table
• Excellent food and service provided by Mama Lacona’s (I’d recommend them to anyone planning a wedding in Des Moines)
• Out-of-town friends (now come back and we can actually talk this time!)
• Sweet favors – CDs of all the musicians who played at the wedding and music by Scott and I
• An impromptu slow-mo run through the crowd of cheers and bubbles and into our decorated car

There were so many wonderful things about the day, people to thank, and memories made (getting cheesy, I know). I’d go on, but I need to keep some content for my next blog. All in all, it was a great day and an exciting way to start our marriage.

In a recent e-mail to my husband-to-be, I explained all of the top things that were stressing me out. Yes, yes, it’ll all come together and be beautiful. That’s a very nice thing to say, but at this point, I never want to hear that again. I know that. But that doesn’t take away all the stress and hard work I’ll put into it to make sure it all comes together.

71 hours to go and here’s my stress list: (the to-do list is longer)

The Favors
That form has to be filled out before they can start the final work on it at all. It takes at least two days for production after all paperwork is filled out. They aren’t open on weekends, so we only have two days. This is causing some freaking high stress right now.

The ring
At my cousin’s wedding, the ring wouldn’t go on her husband’s finger because it didn’t fit. I’d love to try that on and know we have it and have time to get it resized before the wedding if necessary. I also need to find time to get the engagement ring cleaned.

The toast
It’s a high stress point right now. It has to be nicely timed so that those pouring the glasses and passing them out know what’s going on. I promised them an e-mail about it but don’t have anything to say right now.

The reception
I so badly want there to be a nice flow to the reception, but I can’t even visualize it right now. When will the musicians play and in what order? Who’s doing what when?

The bills
I’m talking house bills. The Mid-American one came, the phone bill shouldn’t be far behind, and the rent is due Friday. These are a lot of things to remember and I am worried I’ll forget and we’ll come back from a honeymoon more stressed than we left.

The packing
When is this going to get done? I can’t even really fathom leaving the country this year, let alone this week.

The programs
People generally do this weeks before the wedding and here I am, three days away and haven’t even started.

The house
As much as I’d rather it wasn’t, it’s a mess. Dirty dishes, yes, but also the tables are cluttered with papers, bills and thank-you notes. Getting laundry in the wash a few days ago was a big step, one I barely had time and energy for.

The guests
They all say it’s your wedding, but it just isn’t true. I’m worried about where people will stay and that everyone’s flight gets in alright, their drive time is good and that they have a decent time. I know it’s probably something I shouldn’t think about, but I feel the need to check in with so many people and make sure everything’s alright and that they know I care they’re coming to the wedding.

Friday after work we quickly headed to the courthouse to take care of some legal documents. AHEM, like applying for a marriage license! I packed the camera in the car before work, but Scott wasn’t having it. Dang. So, no photographs to mark the moment. However, the gay couple who came in behind us might have us in their video documentation.

As of Wednesday, we can get married at any moment. All we need is an officiant and a few witnesses. After tonight, I officially have a dress that fits. Woo!

(And that concludes this blogging recap. Come on people, we’re getting married on Saturday!! Do you know how many other things I have to do?)

I’ve just about disappeared. No blog in who knows how long, yet so much wedding activity. What I would do for a night to just blog it all away. Both of my parents called me last night to hear an update and my dad said he was just checking to see I was alive. “Barely” was my text reply.

We’re ten days out. Centerpieces, favors, and programs are still left. Not to mention a bazillion other things. And what the heck? I’m leaving the country next week? Not sure when that packing will get done. I could continue the rest of this post in a complete rant, but don’t even have the energy. I have blogs both in my head and written down on paper, but never had the time. I’ve failed my blogging audience, but at this point, I’m just trying to keep my sanity.

“It’ll all come together!” That’s what they all say as soon as you even hint at wedding stress or the number of things left to do. Yeah, it will. But I might not sleep, eat or breathe until then.

My biggest wedding planning failure (or at least I hope so, I can’t handle another) is about to be disclosed. You may remember a discouraged blog a few weeks back. At the time, I wasn’t ready to make public just what had happened. I wanted to fix it first. It was all so ridiculous, yet so upsetting. Every so often I thought about how I would explain it in a blog, if I ever did.

Let’s start at the middle. I know most people like to start at the beginning, but this blog was first inspired by the middle of this mess. About a month ago, I woke up for church like any normal Sunday. I had some extra time and perused the internet. Looked over our wedding checklist, returned some e-mails, and checked out our photographer’s website for probably the 40th time since we hired him. Before I knew it, I was bawling.

Something wasn’t right. I tried and tried to convince myself his stuff was good. And in some ways, it is. By no means is this a blog post bashing a wedding vendor. We hired him for a reason – he had experience, was a nice guy, and had good rates. But that morning I realized I did not want him to take our wedding pictures, despite the several hundred dollars we’d put down as a deposit. Hence the uncontrollable tears.

Before we were even close to considering marriage Scott had talked about a friend he wanted to take his wedding pictures. Okay, sure. Within a week of getting engaged we contacted him. He was available and happy to shoot our wedding. We were equally excited, until we realized he was half of our budget. In all fairness, at that point we had no budget (aka no money). We hadn’t looked at many photographers and his rate seemed high. On top of that, he asked us to cover travel expenses, which we had a hard time with considering our already tight budget. So, we found another (and cheaper) option.

This is where we first compromised ourselves and what we wanted. But, a wedding gets expensive quick and therefore becomes very confusing. By the time I realized we didn’t want option #2, it was a mere 70 days until the wedding.  That week, we found someone else. Someone local, from our church, and with great wedding style. I had learned different styles mattered and didn’t want to make the same mistake twice. She agreed to take our photos, reduce the rate given our “special circumstances” and we breathed a sigh of relief. It was all going to work out. She (option #3) was a bit pricier, but at that point I didn’t care. The day we were to meet with her to sign the contract she e-mailed us saying she didn’t have the time due to planning for her own wedding this fall. We completely understood, but it was still hard to swallow.

That brought on a stream of thoughts that looked a little like this: oh my goodness I don’t know what to do but can’t complain because I got us into this stupid mess. Oh my goodness why, why, WHY? Why didn’t I just go with my gut from the beginning? It’s totally fair for her to need to focus on her own big day, but I wish she told us before we had officially canceled our contract with option #2. Oh but it’s not her fault. Why are you so dumb, Samantha?!

Exactly 60 days from our wedding, and we were at square one. So, we did what we should have stuck with all along – asked option #1 if he could shoot our wedding. Now we had a bit more of a budget, stability, and a better idea of what we wanted in a photographer. Sadly, he was booked to shoot a different wedding. A similar string of thoughts shot through my head again as I regretted how things had gone. Suddenly we were scrambling for something we thought was covered long before we got engaged.

Thankfully, I know a guy from college who is a very talented photographer and is just starting to do wedding photography. I think he will do a good job and in the end, we’ll have a few good photos worth framing. If only it had been that simple.

In addition to the Iowa State Fair and the Des Moines Farmer’s Market, my weekend was full of labels, envelopes, stamps, and invites. At one point when we thought we could do this wedding all on our own I had considered designing something myself like I did with the (oh-so-informal) save-the-date. Once I realized summer was coming to an end and I hadn’t started them, we quickly decided that an online company that would ship the invites, envelopes, and return address labels to us was the way to go. So, no, we didn’t rip Tibetan paper and seal the envelopes with a wax stamp (which would be beyond cool…ahem and crazy time-consuming), but they still look decent. The goal is to invite people to the wedding, and that’s what our invites will do. Lucky for me, I did get to design the RSVP card and therefore experience the pure grumpiness and utter attitude of the Kinko’s employees. (Anyone know a good printer in Des Moines?)

I think the reason the invites got put off for so long is simple, we didn’t know who to invite. It sounds easy, but is actually an incredibly touchy subject. So touchy in fact, that I considered never blogging about it and instead pretending we never had to encounter such situation. We could act as though the invites just flew with the wind to a few people and missed a few others in a whimsical way. But since I’m blogging, I might as well explain.

We are people-people, meaning Scott and I would invite the world if we could. When you write up a list, half the task is cutting the list. We don’t really like doing that. We love our friends, whether we last talked to them yesterday or when we were in high school. We want our relatives to be a part of this ceremony celebrating  the joining of families. Not to mention, our poor co-workers have heard about this wedding everyday and deserve to actually see it. We essentially want anyone and everyone we’ve ever hung out with after a show, or hugged at church, or share a last name with, on the list. But have I ever mentioned we’re on a budget? Oh, right. Someone has to get cut.

So, beloved blog reader, if you don’t find an invite in your mailbox please understand this: that doesn’t make you any less of our friend. Heck, if you want to see us get married that bad – show up. But due to space, food, and money limitations don’t go to the reception. There are a number of reasons why your invite may never appear, and they are as follows: 1. It got lost in the mail (totally possible) 2. Our list was packed with absolutes (aka family) 3. We’ve lost touch…be honest, when was the last time you called? 4. Although you held one of us back in the days of diapers, you don’t really know who we are now. 5. Our friendship is just starting to blossom, (which is awesome) but we have a few friends who’ve seen us through a lot that have to be there.

Lastly, if you do get an invite, feel special and do us a huge favor – RSVP, asap.

A long time ago (read: before I got engaged) I had the idea in my head that when I got married I’d be in the best shape of my life. By then I’d have a normal workout routine, weigh less than or equal to what I did at high school prom, and have a nice tone to my arms and shoulders for their debut.

I rarely wear tank tops, much less strapless tops so my shoulder blades hardly see the light of day. Don’t get me wrong, I wear swimsuits, but even still I remain fairly modest. This is all beside the point. What I’m trying to say is, I want to look good.

So what does my personal wedding day prep consist of? Sitting at an office all day (with occasional walks down the hall), tracking down wedding items in stores (resulting in sore feet), and hardly enough sleep. It’s exhausting none the less. When I remember or work up the strength, I’ve been trying to do at least 30 sit-ups a day (yeah right). Not to mention, there’s my chocolate and cookie addiction that kicks in when I’m stressed.

My most ridiculous prep occurs over my lunch break. When possible, I run home, grab a PB&J and roll up my sleeves, trying to soak in the sunlight. By the time I get back to work I actually appreciate the frigid air thanks to practically breaking out in a sweat as I create tan lines for myself. For your own protection, I’ll avoid posting a photo of said “tanning” process. This week’s advice: make sure you look like you want to look for your wedding day before you get engaged, before you start dating, now.